I watched the sunrise with Taavi. He was a delight this morning. Cuddly, funny, quirky. He is often my morning companion, as he wakes at around 5.30 or 6 am and then comes up to join me at 6.30 once Steve leaves for work. He is a lovely, loving companion.
So I'm participating in this project http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/capture-your-grief-2015 to commemorate and acknowledge Baby Loss Awareness month this October.
I haven't shared this too widely, but I was pregnant with our third this year - found out in May - and then in late July, at 16 weeks, I found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat. He had died at 15 weeks.
We had told the boys I was pregnant and so the loss of baby Luca felt like a gap was created in our whole family. I realised when I lost him how much we had already mentally prepared for his arrival. During the first trimester, I was very cautiously optimistic, but when we reached the second trimester I had just allowed myself to get really excited and start feeling this was real. It was gut-wrenching to have to go back from that. However, it also helped me appreciate deeply the family that I do have. I love our two boys so much, and Steve and I and the boys are enough.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. We too felt the excitement and then the gap, but we also are so grateful for your family of 4!
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